there existed a very small community of simple folk, primitive in their evolution, living entirely unaware of their condition.
It wasn't until I fell under enchantment by one of these individuals whom I will call Mountain Feather that I began to discover the mystery of this place.
Being that I live a mystical life, I pay close attention to all the signs around me.
Fast forward to my journey to this curious mountain town. Not sure if I can call it a 'town'.
Population 25. No gas. No grocery. No stores.
Just a little grouping of old homes and aging residents living in an abandoned mining town.
Rich in history and depression, the beauty of the place conceals a darkness that one would only discover if they stay long enough to start inexplicably craving whiskey.
When I met Mountain Feather I was instantly fascinated.
He was surrounded by feathers. Be they tattooed, engraved on stone, flying from his tipi, hanging from his doorway threshold, blowing in the wind from the turkeys he kept... This man was most certainly carrying the totem energy of the bird spirit.
I pursued him, despite myself.
You see, I am incredibly prideful and traditional when it comes to romantic interaction. I know my value as a woman and refuse to pursue a potential suitor.
But I did.
As bizarre and out of character as it was for me, I did.
He welcomed my attentions eagerly of course and I was swept up in the delirious enjoyment of our deep and powerful connection.
Every. Single. Chakra. Connected. WHOA.
My entire being would melt into his and his into mine. I could hear his thoughts clearly and feel his emotions as palpably as if they were my own.
Enthralled by his knowledge of plants, trees, and ability to whistle the songs of the birds I was convinced he was one of the most amazing men I had ever met in my life.
It wasn't long after he insisted that we make our relationship official that I began to notice troublesome feminine energy in his aura.
"I know that you may not realize this my darling Mountain Feather man, but being that I am a psychic I do know when you talk to other women in a way that is out of alignment with our relationship."
We were new, so I figured I would give him a heads up that should he have these behaviors he wouldn't be able to conceal them from me like he may have been able to in past relationships.
His reaction? To deny it and act offended that I would even suggest the possibility.
I put it out there.
Time would tell what he would choose to do. I figured that he would correct himself accordingly if he was sincere in his intentions.
As time went by I began to notice some strange behaviors.
Fabrications and exaggerations along with rants of negativity that became so vibration lowering that I could hardly manage a conversation with him.
"You may not be speaking negatively about me, but you are speaking negatively to me and that energy is mucking up my Aura. Please stop." I did my best to introduce the concept of the energy in words without offending him.
*I work really hard at keeping my vibration high. It takes a considerable degree of mental and emotional discipline. Having a person in my environment who is constantly introducing low vibrational energy just makes it more of a challenge. And if I was going to be doing this 'commitment thing' with him, it was important that he understood that.
It didn't improve.
"He probably just needs his throat chakra cleared out and the vibration of it raised." I tell myself, and set to course on doing the job.
Staying the night with him presented an entirely new set of challenges.
Let's just say that it was like he was camping in his own home except that he lived mostly in his bedroom and let the animals take over the rest of the house.
Being that I am a touch germaphobic, this was NOT a place where I felt comfortable being in. The odor alone was enough to keep a person from wanting to enter or remain for any length of time.
I made the decision to do a deep girlfriend cleaning on the place. And I admit that I loved every filthy second of it.
The more I cleared and cleaned and scrubbed his home, the more I realized that I was stripping away years and years of negative energy and resulting depression from his previous relationships.
It was the relationship Feng Shui Bagua of his home which struck me particularly. Filled with garbage, it was the worst room in the house.
'No wonder he's been (supposedly) single for so long... Just look at the condition of his relationship room' I thought to myself as I donned gloves and mask and went to work armed with bleach spray and garbage bags.
Another thing that captured my notice was the fact that his house was entirely covered in old spider webs, spiders, and remains of previous girlfriends belongings. I took a broom to those webs and into the dump pile or the bonfire the previous girlfriends items went.
I don't mess around. When I set myself to a project I get sh*t done. And I am proud to report that within a few days time I had cleaned up years of depression and neglect and transformed his house into a cozy and comfortable home.
Boom! Mission accomplished! Now I can enjoy my relationship!
After having been single for 3 years and experiencing the worst possible circumstances in previous relationships, I was determined to make this relationship work.
But now there was a new challenge.
Whenever we would spend time separate from one another, he would return completely encased in cords and wrapped in dense energy. His vibration would be considerably lowered and he would have attachments in his throat chakra again causing him to speak negatively.
This energy would prevent his ability to connect to me energetically.
Not. A. Single. Chakra. Connecting. WHOA.
"It's okay. I'll just clear him." I would tell myself.
And that is what I did.
Every. Single. Time.
I noticed that when clearing him, there would be multitudes of energetic spiders clearing from his chakras attaching back to a female that felt entitled to him and his energy.
In an attempt to puzzle it all out, I asked him if he was talking to any of his exes. He adamantly denied it.
"You do know that when you lie to me it shows up in your aura and I can see it right?" I say to him.
"Prove it." He said it as if in challenge. I didn't feel any obligation to 'prove' anything to him. My perceptions are my own and if he denies their validity, well that's his right just as much as it is mine to have them and speak them.
Regardless, I explained to him that whenever he has interactions with people that have emotional control over him it would show up in his energy as cords and in this case it was so bad that it was preventing him from being able to connect to me on any level.
Let me tell you... it was starting to get exhausting.
I mean, what self respecting woman would want to be with a man who doesn't hold his space energetically for the woman whom he claims to love and be committed to?
*Because the energy that would cord him, vamp him, and slime him up was so low, it was having an adverse affect on my personal energy by being with him. And that was causing me to not only have to be diligent in clearing his energy regularly but I had to put extra effort into regularly clearing and protecting my own as well.
When my Higher Self has a message to deliver - it can sometimes be subtle. If the message is serious, there is no missing it.
'You need to give yourself a healing. You are under attack.' The message rang through loud as a bell.
I wasn't scared, but I was a bit confused and curious. Immediately I went to work setting up sacred space and focusing in on my energy field.
As I gave myself Reiki I journeyed through my chakra vision working meditations... Looking for the source of the trouble.
What did I find?
Spiders. Lots and Lots and LOTS of Spiders. And webs.
My Root chakra garden had black slime surrounding the fountain and there were webs all around my greenery where the flowers should have been.
My Second Chakra beach house was dark and dreary and had some scary creatures hanging around acting like they owned the place.
The fire at the top of my solar plexus mountain was struggling... and the stairs up to my Heart Chakra Sky Palace were solidly covered in dark vines.
'No biggie' I thought to myself, I'll just clean all this up and restore my chakra places back to their beautiful powerful states.
It took some focus, but in a couple hours of time I was back to my normal self.
Following the session I took time to ponder where in the world all this spider energy was coming from getting into my chakras, and why the message from my Higher Self so plainly stated that I was under attack.
The next day I awoke to find that my wrist on my right arm was swollen.
Mountain Feather dressed it with plantain and I did some healing work on it until it subsided and healed.
It wasn't but a few days later that Mountain Feather awoke with a spider bite on his left ankle! Black and beginning to spread, it had us nervous. When I did energy work on it, a HUGE energy spider cleared from the bite itself and thankfully it too healed within a couple of days.
At this point I was beginning to resent this oppressive arachnid energy.
"Theres just too many spiders on your property." I told him. "It's out of balance."
"But they kill and eat all the bad bugs." Protecting his spider friends he justified their presence. "Leave them be."
Respecting his request, I studied the victims in the webs.
Dragon flies, moths, butterflies and pretty little beetles hung in stillness.
These weren't bad bugs at all, they were the good guys! Representatives of the helpful fairy kingdoms, attempting to bring blessings of love, prosperity, and healing but getting caught and eaten instead.
"The nice nature spirits are under attack here! And these spiders are indicating it!" I exclaimed to him, desperate to get my message across.
I couldn't let it go. These benevolent fairies needed someone to advocate for them. I felt that I was the only one who could hear their cries for help, and I was doing my very best to answer in an effort to set them free.
But it would be to no avail.
Walking down the road with Mountain Feather, hand in hand, a car came driving up behind us. Naturally I pulled myself to the side closest to me, the left. Mountain Feather, instead of moving with me, pulled his hand from mine and jumped to the opposite side of the road.
Once the car had drove between us the words formed ominous on my lips "That was an omen. Something is going to come between us. And you are going to let it. And it's Big." I said to him verbatim.
To which he responded with dismissive language.
The next day, we broke up.
I was angry. I was sooooo angry. But, I was also relieved.
First Week Post Breakup:
Liberated from his consuming need for constant attention, I spent my time focused on whatever I chose.
My only regret was that I was unable to complete the project of assisting those poor helpful nature spirits which were being held hostage on his property.
Second Week Post Breakup:
Reality sets in. No good morning texts to wake up to. No phone call begging me back. Silence. Horrible. Rejecting. Silence. Ouch.
I'm embarrassed to myself. Questioning if I had yet again sabotaged a perfectly good relationship.
The glimmer of hope within me that longed for a return to that beautiful lie flickered on.
The confusion over what could possibly have happened was now beginning to consume me.
It was as if HE were the spider. And I the butterfly which flew right into his web. Initially the web felt good, I was drunk in the blind energetic ecstasy of the sensation of it cording into each and every one of my chakras. Comforted by the coziness of being wrapped tight in his silk, until suddenly I could no longer move. His full attention was on me as he spun his trap skillfully... a false sense of safety secured me. Once he had fed to his satisfaction, I was no longer in his focus. A new enticing insect had flown into his web that now commanded his attention. And there I sat in stillness, helpless as I witnessed. Encased in the energy which my Higher Self had warned me of.
Third Week Post Breakup:
Getting absolutely real with myself.
I did not want to be in a relationship with this man. There were way too may deal breakers going on that I was overlooking (and not mentioning in this blog).
My crushed ego self desperately wanted him to make the effort to reconcile so that I could feel wanted, loved, and vindicated.
My higher self shook her head at my ego self as if to say, 'Come on now, its not fair for you to want him to want you if you don't want him.'
I'm no stranger to heartbreak. I probably hold the record for how many times my heart has been broken throughout the course of my life. It's almost ridiculous.
Considering I have been through WAY worse heartbreak then rejection from a fleeting romance with a spidery man, I knew exactly what to do.
Focusing all of my energy back into myself, my friends, my home, and my business was all it took for me to feel like my happy joyous self again.
I still hadn't cried. My ego and pride would not allow him the satisfaction of my tears. Yet I knew, as a healer, that I needed to hold time in grieving. If not for him, then for myself and yet another failed relationship.
When the tears finally showed, with them came the realization that I had been rejected in EVERY single relationship I have ever had.
Digging deep to uncover whatever energetic imprint existed within me that was attracting this lifelong rejection I moved all the way back to my childhood. Uncovering the truth of what sourced my rejection patterning with men it became clear that it all began with my father. He was infinitely more interested in his substances and himself to take the time to care about his little girls feelings. Deep down I'm just a broken hearted little girl who longs for the emotional closeness with her father that he was never capable of giving, and my energy is recreating the same scenario on repeat.
Different faces. Same Archetypes. Same wounding pattern.
What Mountain Feather gave me was a gift of light, shining bright on my oldest and deepest relationship wound. One that despite my many years of being on a healing journey, had eluded me.
Sobbing, I tapped and tapped and tapped to it. It's really quite impressive how effective EFT is if you know how to apply it. The trick is identifying that key moment in time when the vibration of the wounding is active and zeroing in on where it sources from. After that, all it takes is a few minutes to clear and reset this pain manifesting energetic imprint.
BOOM! I no longer feel rejected.
BOOM! I am no longer interested in (or emotionally affected from) this man whom I had been so deeply triggered by.
Once that wounding energy was cleared, my attraction to that particular archetype evaporated. Now I am free to attract men who will NOT reject me.
Whew! Well that only took almost 40 years.
This blog I could have turned into a book.
My experiences and observations communicating with nature spirits, clearing the energy of the land on this mountain, learning from Mountain Feather, observing and healing a deeply troubled soul, the mystery of the many ghosts I had occasion to interact with and help in this strange community, I barely touched upon.
Let's just say that despite the fact that this relationship didn't work out, I am in deep gratitude for having experienced it.
We each have the choice to live and love from our higher or our lower selves.
Our higher selves connect us to our ancestral guardians in a spiritual lineage which holds the power of the ancients. The higher we raise our vibration, the more we live in alignment, the more access we have to this energy which we can channel for ourselves and others.
Our lower selves connect us to our primitive ego based consciousness, necessary for survival yes, but clumsy when it comes to supporting us in our realization of our fullest potential.
Striking a balance is the challenge of our human condition.
We choose what we channel.
It is my hope that Mountain Feather aligns with his higher self and chooses to channel his powerful ancestral guardians in a way that will serve himself and others in alignment with higher vibrational energy, instead of wasting his channeling potential on feeding the vampers in his life to satisfy his insatiable ego driven desires.
For the Fairies sake, for his own sake, for the summer I spent dedicating myself to the intensive healing of his life long wounding, this is my parting wish for him.
What do YOU think????
My take away from this adventure is this, every step of it was divinely ordained.
As are all experiences and relationships that I have along the path of my mystical life.
I *never* go against the prompting of my Guides or my Higher Self (even if I do sometimes complain to them). And I trust that the direction I am led in will always serve my greatest and highest.
As is the same for each and every one of you.
Light Love and Fairy Blessings